Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What defines the k'vanna of the Book of בראשית?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What is the reason for The Acolyte (2024 series) having poor reception among Star Wars fans?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Person With Deadly Virus Visited Popular Hudson Valley Restaurant - Hudson Valley Post

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Meet the Kardashians' plastic surgeons responsible for Kris Jenner's new face and Kylie's 'teardrop' curves - Business Insider

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why are breasts attractive?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have a reading level above third grade

May 2024 solar storm cost $500 million in damages to farmers, new study reveals - Space

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t cotton to rapists

Asteroid Larger Than Golden Gate Bridge Approaches Earth In Rare Event - Forbes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Are Democrats freaking out that President Trump and America have plans to prosecute election cheaters?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What are some important works of Marcel Proust (novelist)?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can count

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What are some creepy bestiality-promoting questions obviously asked for sexual gratification?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I see through liars

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I actually pay taxes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can read

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t buy bullshit